I am no different. I took to Facebook with my opinions on all of the above and more. I spent the entire week saying that race didn’t seem to play a part in what happened to Trayvon Martin. That George Zimmerman would’ve done the same thing to any kid who looked suspicious on that dark and rainy night in Florida. I was willing to admit that racial injustice is a regrettable part of society but I always answered with the common (and simplistic) refrain “Well, the U.S. justice system might not be perfect but it’s still the best thing out there.”
Then I got a voicemail email from Alex, an African-American man I like and respect very much who attends the same church I do. He said simply this: “You and I need to set aside some time to have a very serious talk. When can we?” My first thought was, uh-oh – I’m in trouble. This is a man with a very deep baritone voice and I figured I was in for a Matthew 18 moment with someone who sounds much like James Earl Jones. But I agreed and we set up a time to meet in the food court at the mall.
I was a little nervous. But I genuinely like the man and respect his life – his marriage, his kids, the kids of single parents that he so naturally takes under his wing, the fact that he counsels people on different professional matters, etc. So I sat down with him and sheepishly asked, “Are you mad at me?” He looked at me in surprise and said “Not at all. I just wanted to tell you a few stories about my life.” And so he did.
The first story was about renting a car for a family vacation. About 50 miles outside of Denver on the highway he saw a police car in his rearview mirror. He knew he was going to be pulled over. The police car moved up next to him in the left lane, took a look at him – a black man in sweats in a beautiful new car –and immediately slowed down, moved in behind him and turned on the lights signifying that he should pull over. The policewoman asked for his license and registration. He asked her what the problem was and she only repeated her demand for the required documents. At this point I interjected - “But wait! They had to have probable cause to pull you over –they can’t just do it for nothing!” He looked at me patiently and said that I might be able to argue that point in a situation like that but that he had to remain calm and respectful or risk being taken in for resisting an officer or some such charge. The officer returned his documents and when asked again for a reason, said that a similar car had been reported stolen. (Yeah, right.)
He told me another story about his wife driving the car one day and accidentally taking a wide left turn. She moved back into her lane and as the truck coming from the other direction passed them, he yelled into her open window “stupid N____!” I gasped; in shock that somebody would do that. He just gave me a sad smile and told me another story.
For an hour and a half I learned about this man and some of the things he’s gone through because of his skin color. Even before coming to meet me, he had walked into a Super Target and was immediately followed by the store security officer– and not just on the main aisle. He purposely turned into several different departments just to make sure he was being followed. He was.
None of the things he described has ever happened to me. They would never happen to me. I tried to imagine living my life under the constant suspicion that I was doing something illegal or simply in the wrong place. And the most shocking thing about listening to Alex was seeing that he expects these things to happen to him – because they always have. He said “Christine, you think the Trayvon Martin case had nothing to do with race – but for some of us it has EVERYTHING to do with it.”
In any case, I want change. I am a very conservative Christian woman who works hard, tries to raise great kids and live a life that’s pleasing to God. I look at my beloved country through rose-colored glasses and see it as a fair and just nation because that’s how I want to see it. But it is time for me to love my country enough to look at it clearly – the good, the bad and the ugly - because otherwise real change will never come. And real change doesn’t come from the elected officials – they are merely a reflection of the people they represent. It has to come first from we the people - in our homes, in our neighborhoods, in our communities.
I’m so thankful to this man – that he took a couple hours out of his busy Saturday to share his life with someone who thought she knew it all. There wasn’t a moment where he was condescending or angry with me. He didn’t blame me for anything or expect an apology. He exhibited nothing but kindness and grace and a desire to be seen (to borrow that famous line from Avatar). Maybe that’s the best way to bridge this racial divide: two people from different backgrounds, different races, different ethnicities, taking the time to sit down together and share their stories. My friend calls it a “moccasin talk.”
On Friday, President Obama said “And when you think about why in the African-American community at least there is a lot of pain around what happened here, I think it’s important to recognize that the African-American community is looking at this issue through a set of experiences and a history that doesn’t go away.” There’s not much I agree with the President on – but I hear that quote so much more clearly today than I did last week.
So you have to ask yourself. “Do I want to be part of the solution that unites people rather than constantly divides?” Are you willing to try it? Go to someone you respect or someone you feel comfortable approaching and ask that person to tell you stories from their life that relate to race. Share your own. And see what happens.
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8
1 comment:
OMG, such a great blog! I kinda felt the same way, but now look at it different :-( Thanks!
Post a Comment